How much do you love me? Isn’t it a question we often ask our partners? I am not sure about everybody, but most Indian men I know don’t wear their heart on their sleeves. If anything, most of them are unabashed MCPs. Chinese men on the other hand are out to prove otherwise. My first sighting of a guy carrying a woman’s bag was on the subway and I thought okay maybe she has some problem with her hand or something. Soon it became way too many women with problematic hands! I just could not understand why Chinese women did not carry their own bags or why men insisted on carrying it. Either way it is a bit unnerving to see a guy with a pink handbag with hearts all over it, tucked under his arm and being extremely comfortable being seen in public. Try telling my husband that!Once or twice I’ve even spotted the odd white guy carrying a hand bag, but they almost always had a Chinese girl friend. And I am told that guys do this as a way of showing that they love and care for their partner and it is almost offensive if he does not insist on doing it. So I imagine the average girl-gang gossips revolve around how much their boyfriends love them depending on their bag carrying abilities!
Who doesn’t enjoy the candle light dinners, flowers, gifts, etc. But wearing the exact same clothes? And I don’t mean same colour. I mean exactly the same t-shirt, trousers and shoes, with matching shoelaces. And to top it, the t-shirt has something as corny as “I love you” written on it, as if it weren’t obvious enough! That’s pushing it even for an eternal romantic like me but I guess in a country obsessed with love, that would be the perfect guy to take back home.
The other major difference I found in the men here is that they are openly lusty. No qualms whatsoever. If they find you beautiful, you bet they are going to accost you. And it does not matter whether you understand them or not. Trust me, before Beijing I lived in Delhi, but when it comes to gawking, the Chinese men put even the Jats to shame. But unlike in Delhi, I don’t feel like am being raped by their eyes. It’s more out of curiosity. It does help that I am brown skinned and conspicuous in a train full of Chinese who look like they’re recovering from jaundice or simply deathly pale!
Among a few interesting incidents that come to my head one stands out because of the sheer audacity of it. My husband and I were out exploring Beijing and he asked me to stand for a picture. I was telling him that I don’t look nice and don’t want to pose but he insisted. So here I am standing in front of our hotel while he is taking a picture and a bunch of middle aged men are passing by. Suddenly, one of them goes “Naicceee!” and continues on his way without missing a step. I was a little taken aback because I had hardly ever hear anybody talk English all the time I’ve been in Beijing. And now, this man was not only checking me out but also commenting in English!! I just stood there laughing while my husband fumed at the fact that guy did not even acknowledge his presence there. But guess who was not complaining about not looking nice for the rest of the day?
I have managed to make a couple of friends who are Chinese. There’s this one guy who simply amuses me the way he approaches women. If he likes them, he just goes ahead and talks to them and if they like him, he even manages to get their cellphone number. Mind you, these are just random strangers on the road. It does help that he is bloody good looking. So it might seem alright. But if it were India, no matter how good looking you are, if you approached me on the road, there is no way in hell I would have entertained you, forget exchanging numbers.
I have an extreme aversion for heart accessories. Growing up, it was not “cool” to be seen wearing heart pendants and watches or for that matter anything heart-shaped. But everything about love is so corny and cheesy here, am sure I would have cringed a little less had I grown up in this part of the world and maybe even liked wearing the exact same clothes!
One of the largest retail chains in China is called Love & Love Couples. They only make products for couples. It ranges from matching heart pendants to keys to each other’s heart. So the guy gets the plain silver heart while the girl gets the exact same thing but her heart is studded with pink stones! Of course for the nouveau riche there is the more expensive and exclusive store which sells matching jewellery in platinum, gold and diamond. That is love for you Made in China!
